Wife
Some possible ways a wife could openly express God’s love to her husband through submission to him.
♥ After giving appropriate and loving input, allow him to make the decisions for her and their family, and trust the Lord with the results without holding it against him when he makes decisions contrary to her ideas.
♥ In a good spirit, carry out the decisions which he has made.
♥ Verbally commit herself to follow him, even when she doesn’t agree with his decisions or when his attitude is not loving.
♥ Communicate her thoughts lovingly to him and her reasons for her ideas, but not insist upon his agreeing with them.
♥ Put a priority on her husband’s “to do” list before the things on her own “to do” list.
♥ Carry out what he decides for the children, even when he’s not at home.
♥ Be especially careful about her spending, according to what her husband has told her about their finances.
♥ Ask her husband before she agrees to personal or financial commitments.
♥ Not attempt to manipulate him into doing what she wants.
♥ Pay attention to what is important to him and make an effort to do them (e.g., chores done, clothes ironed, dinner ready, on time to events, etc.).
♥ Check with him on things she’s planning to do.
♥ Follow him even when his decisions are ill-advised (though not biblically wrong), trusting the Lord to work them together for good in her and her family’s life.
♥ Forbear his failures and poor decisions.
♥ Apologize to him when she has not been submissive to him or when her attitudes in her submission were less than loving.
Some possible ways a wife could openly express God’s love to her husband through respecting him.
♥ Praise him for what leadership he exhibits and for what he has accomplished.
♥ Praise him in front of the children and in front of others.
♥ Ask him if they can have a regular talk date.
♥ Speak with him in private when she disagrees with a decision he’s made, instead of the challenging him in front of the children or others.
♥ Listen to her husband’s burdens attentively and bear them with him.
♥ Speak well of him to others and not talk behind his back about things in which she is in disagreement.
♥ Not allow the children to speak disrespectfully of him when he is not present, but encourage them to bring their concerns up to him personally.
♥ Apologize to him in the presence of the children when she has been unloving toward him in their presence.
♥ Occasionally fix his favorite meal.
♥ Kiss him when he leaves for work and when he arrives back home.
♥ Seek his advice, counsel, or insight on personal problems.
♥ Not ridicule what he does for a living or how much he makes, but praise him for the work he does.
♥ Let him know that she prays for him regularly.
♥ Consider his preferences when shopping and preparing food.
♥ Support him in every way she can when he is under criticism by others.
♥ Support his God-given leadership of the family even when she and the children are not in agreement with a decision he makes.
♥ Express support for his attempts to succeed even when he fails.
♥ Not be flirtatious with other men.
♥ Give evidence to him that she is trying to improve in areas which are important to him (e.g., her personal appearance, her housekeeping, care of her clothes, etc.).
♥ Be a sympathetic sounding board for his thoughts and ideas.
♥ Not question his love or his intelligence when he makes a decision opposite to what she thinks should have been made.
♥ With a kind, patient spirit, help him improve, and lovingly point out his weaknesses in private.
♥ Express appreciation for his provision and protection for her and the family.
Some possible ways a wife could openly express God’s love through being a friend to her husband.
♥ Create a home atmosphere in which he can be comfortable.
♥ Take an interest in his work.
♥ Encourage him to share with her what is on his heart when he is preoccupied or moody.
♥ Be his cheerleader.
♥ Give a sympathetic ear when he is hurting, discouraged, or needs a sounding board.
♥ Put a love note in his sack lunch.
♥ Rejoice with him in his accomplishments and achievements.
♥ Regularly stay up with the baby or with sick children so he can be refreshed for work the next day.
♥ Not nag at him, but give him occasional gentle correction
when it is needed, without persistence or threat of rejection.
♥ Bear his burdens and comfort him in his grief.
♥ Listen to him, help him, and give him advice when he desires it.
♥ Encourage him in the things he does well.
♥ Apologize when her attitudes toward him have been less than loving.
♥ Confide in him.
♥ Meet him for lunch or take a sack lunch to share.
♥ Laugh at his wholesome jokes.
♥ Relax with him or go with him to a place or an event he enjoys.
♥ Minister to him when he is sick.
♥ Greet him cheerfully when he returns home from work.
♥ Express forgiveness to him when he apologizes to her.
♥ Grieve with him when he is grieving.
Some possible ways a wife could openly express God’s love to her husband through having a gentle and quiet spirit.
♥ Give a gentle answer in a patient, loving spirit when he is angry.
♥ Ask him if they can pray together about an issue troubling him.
♥ Not insist on speaking to him when he is not ready to hear.
♥ Encourage him to trust the Lord with the trials of life.
♥ Bring up positive, godly thoughts when he is worried, down, or upset.
♥ Accept his contrary decisions with equanimity and trust in the Lord.
♥ Be patient and forbearing of his weaknesses, communicating a content spirit when he does not change.
♥ Acknowledge her wrongs to him and ask for his forgiveness, even when his wrongs are far greater than hers and are being ignored or justified.
♥ Share her hurts with him in a gentle spirit when the opportunity is right.
♥ Petition him kindly to change a decision or to grant a desire.
Some possible ways a wife could openly express God’s love through meeting her husband’s sexual needs.
♥ Respond to his sexual advances willingly and cheerfully when he desires to make love, even if it is not her desire at the time.
♥ Seek to make herself especially attractive to him by her cleanliness, her attire, her perfume, and by creating a romantic atmosphere for him.
♥ Seek to do those things which are especially pleasurable to him, and to avoid those things which are not.
♥ Share with him those things which are especially pleasurable to her and those things which are not.
♥ Share with him when she is unable to make love (due to sickness or her period) and express availability to make love at the earliest possible time thereafter.
♥ Initiate sexual relations when she senses that there is a particular desire or need on his part.
♥ Ask (not insist) if they can make love later or the next day, if she is exhausted or if it is otherwise difficult for her at the present, being sensitive to whether her husband is at the point of distraction with sexual temptation. If he is, go ahead and make love by faith.
♥ Do what she can to minimize any worries he may have regarding their sexual relationship.
♥ Not talk more than he desires and avoid negative conversation during their time.
♥ If she has refused his advances or snubbed him, apologize and communicate to him her availability to make love.
Insights and concepts adapted from The Heart of Man and The Mental Disorders by Rich Thomson)