Some possible ways a husband could openly express God’s love through self-sacrifice for his wife:
♥ Make decisions for the family that benefit his wife, even when they are not his preference.
♥ Have a consistent “talk date” with her weekly.
♥ Arrange for babysitting and take her to a favorite place alone.
♥ Phone when he’ll be home later than usual.
♥ Listen to her concerns attentively and respond to them thoughtfully.
♥ Watch the children while she sleeps in or takes a break.
♥ Protect her from the expectations of others by speaking with them himself.
♥ Do one or more of the priority items on her “honey do” list.
♥ Visit relatives whom she would desire to visit.
♥ Help her with the shopping.
♥ Help get the children to bed.
♥ Take his day off to care for sick children when she is exhausted or in need of rest.
♥ Be especially sensitive to have good manners in public so she will not be embarrassed.
♥ Help her with her pet.
♥ Take care of her when she is ill.
♥ Sacrifice a better salary to be able to be home more consistently with her and the family.
♥ Lead a Bible, sharing, and prayer time regularly with the family.
♥ Do the heavy chores around the home and the outdoor tasks for which she is not suited.
♥ Phone when he’s out of town to see how she is.
♥ Support the ministries and activities in which she’s involved.
♥ Put his plans on hold when they would be difficult for her.
♥ Be sensitive to her personal limitations and adjust his expectations likewise.
♥ Bring a meal in for the family when she’s had a difficult day.
♥ Take total responsibility for the children at times after he gets home from work so she can rest for a while.
♥ If possible, make allowance in the budget for a little money for her to have to do with as she pleases.
♥ Run an errand for her.
♥ If it is important to her, make a special effort to be on time to social events.
♥ Take it on himself to do some regular household chores.
♥ Do his wife’s household chores when she needs a break.
♥ Share her hobby with her on occasion.
♥ Give her special gift money he’s received to spend as she desires.
♥ Arrange to come home early when she’s not well.
Some possible ways a husband could openly express God’s love through providing for his wife’s physical needs:
♥ Be the breadwinner in the family.
♥ Take the lead in adjusting their standard of living to fit within his salary.
♥ Lead in establishing a budget and living within it.
♥ As his ability and time allow, save money by doing some repairs and maintenance himself.
♥ Teach his wife and children the financial principles he knows from Scripture.
♥ Be a good steward of their physical resources – home, car, possessions.
♥ Handle the household funds wisely.
♥ If possible, provide adequate medical coverage and life insurance.
♥ Help his wife seek out the stores where their money will stretch the furthest for food and clothes.
♥ Lead his wife and family in prayer for the family’s physical needs and desires.
Some possible ways a husband could openly express God’s love through relational warmth to his wife:
♥ Establish a regular “talk date” with her and participate by both listening to her and sharing his heart with her.
♥ Regularly apologize for even subtle unloving attitudes which he has had while in her presence.
♥ Listen to her concerns and share his heart with her about what is going on in his life.
♥ Bear her burdens with her.
♥ Express praise and appreciation to her for who she is in his life and what she does to be a helper fit for him.
♥ Kiss her when leaving for work and when returning home.
♥ Hug her warmly around the home.
♥ Take her out to dinner or on a special date occasionally.
♥ Look at her adoringly on occasion.
♥ Write a love note to her once in awhile.
♥ Do a ministry together with her.
♥ Praise her regularly, even for the common tasks she does.
♥ Be open to thoughtfully consider her correction of him.
♥ Talk to her about his plans and goals.
♥ Hold and comfort her when she is grieved, discouraged, or disappointed.
♥ Make corrective comments to her only when necessary, and then gently, sensitively, and in a timely manner.
♥ Phone her from work once in awhile to express his love.
♥ Consider her plans before finalizing his plans.
♥ Have a cheerful attitude when he returns home from work.
♥ Be sensitive to her need for occasional privacy.
♥ Be happy with her in her joy and commiserate with her in her grief.
♥ Ask her to pray with him about a concern or a burden he has.
♥ Praise her in the presence of other people.
Some possible ways a husband could openly express God’s love through not being bitter toward his wife:
♥ Be forbearing and forgiving in his heart of her offenses to him and express that forgiveness when she apologizes.
♥ Be willing to apologize for his own unloving attitudes toward his wife instead of holding an unforgiving attitude toward her.
♥ Not hold a grudge against his wife even when she will not admit her wrong, but instead share in love with her the hurt which she has caused him.
♥ Maintain a thankful spirit toward her.
♥ Recognize in himself a critical spirit or a grudge-bearing spirit when it is there, confess it to God, and apologize for it to his wife.
♥ Forbear her weaknesses and failings.
♥ Be understanding of his wife’s pain and discomfort during her cycle or in her sickness.
♥ Not bring up past wrongs again to her which she has already acknowledged as wrong.
Some possible ways a husband could openly express God’s love through understanding his wife:
♥ Be sensitive to her ups and down and adjust his expectations accordingly.
♥ Listen to her hurts, struggles, concerns, interests, and joys, and respond to them with understanding.
♥ Help protect her from relationships or circumstances which affect her negatively.
♥ Consider how her background, limitations, strengths, and weaknesses affect her and adjust his expectations accordingly.
♥ Encourage her to shine in areas of her strengths and abilities.
♥ Seriously consider her thoughts concerning herself and the children before he makes decisions about them.
♥ Avoid teasing her on subjects that are sensitive to her.
♥ Share his heart with her on issues which concern her and the children.
♥ Be sensitive to how her cycle affects her and how physical sickness affects her, and attempt to relieve pressures on her at these times.
Some possible ways a husband could openly express God’s love through honoring his wife:
♥ Praise her in the presence of others.
♥ Include her and her insights before making decisions concerning her or the family.
♥ Apologize in front of the children when he has hurt her in front of them.
♥ Express forgiveness to her in the presence of the children.
♥ Show her common courtesy, especially in areas which are meaningful to her.
♥ Open the door for her or seat her at the dining table, if these are important to her.
♥ Stay at her side at social events, if it is important to her that he do so.
♥ Remember their anniversary, her birthday, and other special occasions in a special way.
♥ Speak to her respectfully and kindly in the presence of others.
♥ Be able to be reasoned with when she has input on a decision.
♥ Give her a special surprise gift.
♥ Seek out her ideas, thoughts, advice, and prayers.
♥ Share with her his reasons for making a decision with which she does not agree.
♥ Include her in planning family goals.
♥ Encourage her and stand with her when she is under criticism by others.
♥ Do the “little things” which he knows she appreciates.
♥ Tell her how much she means to him in front of their children.
♥ Not be flirtatious with other women.
♥ Plan a surprise party for her, if that is the kind of thing she would appreciate.
♥ Recognize her faithfulness to the family and other accomplishments, in front of friends or the church.
♥ When he needs to correct her, do so gently, in most cases in private.
Some possible ways a husband could openly express God’s love through meeting his wife’s sexual needs:
♥ When she is desirous of the sexual relationship and he is not, make love by faith, seeking her satisfaction.
♥ Be tender and romantic with her.
♥ Do what he can to minimize the worries she may have regarding their sexual relationship.
♥ Do what he can do to be attractive to her by shaving, bathing, brushing his teeth, and/or gargling.
♥ Talk with her pleasantly during their love making, avoiding negative conversation.
♥ In preparation for their time, help her with household chores (e.g., the dishes), so that she’ll have more energy for enjoyment.
♥ Take his time and not be in a rush in order for her to enjoy their time.
♥ Encourage her to communicate what is pleasurable and what is not in their sexual relationship.
♥ Be sensitive to her moods and to when she is in need of making love.
Insights and concepts adapted from The Heart of Man and The Mental Disorders by Rich Thomson)