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Husband: Lovingly Fulfilling One’s God-Given Roles

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  • Husband: Lovingly Fulfilling One’s God-Given Roles

Husband

 

Some possible ways a husband could openly express God’s love through self-sacrifice for his wife:

 

♥ Make decisions for the family that benefit his wife, even when they are not his preference.

♥ Have a consistent “talk date” with her weekly.

♥ Arrange for babysitting and take her to a favorite place alone.

♥ Phone when he’ll be home later than usual.

♥ Listen to her concerns attentively and respond to them thoughtfully.

♥ Watch the children while she sleeps in or takes a break.

♥ Protect her from the expectations of others by speaking with them himself.

♥ Do one or more of the priority items on her “honey do” list.

♥ Visit relatives whom she would desire to visit.

♥ Help her with the shopping.

♥ Help get the children to bed.

♥ Take his day off to care for sick children when she is exhausted or in need of rest.

♥ Be especially sensitive to have good manners in public so she will not be embarrassed.

♥ Help her with her pet.

♥ Take care of her when she is ill.

♥ Sacrifice a better salary to be able to be home more consistently with her and the family.

♥ Lead a Bible, sharing, and prayer time regularly with the family.

♥ Do the heavy chores around the home and the outdoor tasks for which she is not suited.

♥ Phone when he’s out of town to see how she is.

♥ Support the ministries and activities in which she’s involved.

♥ Put his plans on hold when they would be difficult for her.

♥ Be sensitive to her personal limitations and adjust his expectations likewise.

♥ Bring a meal in for the family when she’s had a difficult day.

♥ Take total responsibility for the children at times after he gets home from work so she can rest for a while.

♥ If possible, make allowance in the budget for a little money for her to have to do with as she pleases.

♥ Run an errand for her.

♥ If it is important to her, make a special effort to be on time to social events.

♥ Take it on himself to do some regular household chores.

♥ Do his wife’s household chores when she needs a break.

♥ Share her hobby with her on occasion.

♥ Give her special gift money he’s received to spend as she desires.

♥ Arrange to come home early when she’s not well.

 

Some possible ways a husband could openly express God’s love through providing for his wife’s physical needs:

 

♥ Be the breadwinner in the family.

♥ Take the lead in adjusting their standard of living to fit within his salary.

♥ Lead in establishing a budget and living within it.

♥ As his ability and time allow, save money by doing some repairs and maintenance himself.

♥ Teach his wife and children the financial principles he knows from Scripture.

♥ Be a good steward of their physical resources – home, car, possessions.

♥ Handle the household funds wisely.

♥ If possible, provide adequate medical coverage and life insurance.

♥ Help his wife seek out the stores where their money will stretch the furthest for food and clothes.

♥ Lead his wife and family in prayer for the family’s physical needs and desires.

 

Some possible ways a husband could openly express God’s love through relational warmth to his wife:

 

♥ Establish a regular “talk date” with her and participate by both listening to her and sharing his heart with her.

♥ Regularly apologize for even subtle unloving attitudes which he has had while in her presence.

♥ Listen to her concerns and share his heart with her about what is going on in his life.

♥ Bear her burdens with her.

♥ Express praise and appreciation to her for who she is in his life and what she does to be a helper fit for him.

♥ Kiss her when leaving for work and when returning home.

♥ Hug her warmly around the home.

♥ Take her out to dinner or on a special date occasionally.

♥ Look at her adoringly on occasion.

♥ Write a love note to her once in awhile.

♥ Do a ministry together with her.

♥ Praise her regularly, even for the common tasks she does.

♥ Be open to thoughtfully consider her correction of him.

♥ Talk to her about his plans and goals.

♥ Hold and comfort her when she is grieved, discouraged, or disappointed.

♥ Make corrective comments to her only when necessary, and then gently, sensitively, and in a timely manner.

♥ Phone her from work once in awhile to express his love.

♥ Consider her plans before finalizing his plans.

♥ Have a cheerful attitude when he returns home from work.

♥ Be sensitive to her need for occasional privacy.

♥ Be happy with her in her joy and commiserate with her in her grief.

♥ Ask her to pray with him about a concern or a burden he has.

♥ Praise her in the presence of other people.

 

Some possible ways a husband could openly express God’s love through not being bitter toward his wife:

 

♥ Be forbearing and forgiving in his heart of her offenses to him and express that forgiveness when she apologizes.

♥ Be willing to apologize for his own unloving attitudes toward his wife instead of holding an unforgiving attitude toward her.

♥ Not hold a grudge against his wife even when she will not admit her wrong, but instead share in love with her the hurt which she has caused him.

♥ Maintain a thankful spirit toward her.

♥ Recognize in himself a critical spirit or a grudge-bearing spirit when it is there, confess it to God, and apologize for it to his wife.

♥ Forbear her weaknesses and failings.

♥ Be understanding of his wife’s pain and discomfort during her cycle or in her sickness.

♥ Not bring up past wrongs again to her which she has already acknowledged as wrong.

 

Some possible ways a husband could openly express God’s love through understanding his wife:

 

♥ Be sensitive to her ups and down and adjust his expectations accordingly.

♥ Listen to her hurts, struggles, concerns, interests, and joys, and respond to them with understanding.

♥ Help protect her from relationships or circumstances which affect her negatively.

♥ Consider how her background, limitations, strengths, and weaknesses affect her and adjust his expectations accordingly.

♥ Encourage her to shine in areas of her strengths and abilities.

♥ Seriously consider her thoughts concerning herself and the children before he makes decisions about them.

♥ Avoid teasing her on subjects that are sensitive to her.

♥ Share his heart with her on issues which concern her and the children.

♥ Be sensitive to how her cycle affects her and how physical sickness affects her, and attempt to relieve pressures on her at these times.

 

Some possible ways a husband could openly express God’s love through honoring his wife:

 

♥ Praise her in the presence of others.

♥ Include her and her insights before making decisions concerning her or the family.

♥ Apologize in front of the children when he has hurt her in front of them.

♥ Express forgiveness to her in the presence of the children.

♥ Show her common courtesy, especially in areas which are meaningful to her.

♥ Open the door for her or seat her at the dining table, if these are important to her.

♥ Stay at her side at social events, if it is important to her that he do so.

♥ Remember their anniversary, her birthday, and other special occasions in a special way.

♥ Speak to her respectfully and kindly in the presence of others.

♥ Be able to be reasoned with when she has input on a decision.

♥ Give her a special surprise gift.

♥ Seek out her ideas, thoughts, advice, and prayers.

♥ Share with her his reasons for making a decision with which she does not agree.

♥ Include her in planning family goals.

♥ Encourage her and stand with her when she is under criticism by others.

♥ Do the “little things” which he knows she appreciates.

♥ Tell her how much she means to him in front of their children.

♥ Not be flirtatious with other women.

♥ Plan a surprise party for her, if that is the kind of thing she would appreciate.

♥ Recognize her faithfulness to the family and other accomplishments, in front of friends or the church.

♥ When he needs to correct her, do so gently, in most cases in private.

 

Some possible ways a husband could openly express God’s love through meeting his wife’s sexual needs:

 

♥ When she is desirous of the sexual relationship and he is not, make love by faith, seeking her satisfaction.

♥ Be tender and romantic with her.

♥ Do what he can to minimize the worries she may have regarding their sexual relationship.

♥ Do what he can do to be attractive to her by shaving, bathing, brushing his teeth, and/or gargling.

♥ Talk with her pleasantly during their love making, avoiding negative conversation.

♥ In preparation for their time, help her with household chores (e.g., the dishes), so that she’ll have more energy for enjoyment.

♥ Take his time and not be in a rush in order for her to enjoy their time.

♥ Encourage her to communicate what is pleasurable and what is not in their sexual relationship.

♥ Be sensitive to her moods and to when she is in need of making love.

 

 

Insights and concepts adapted from The Heart of Man and The Mental Disorders by Rich Thomson)

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